1. ‘Simon’s Cat’ Partakes in the Animal Olympics

   A new “Simon’s Cat” video hit the web Saturday, and this one gets into the competitive spirit of the Olympics … with a snail race.

2. Will Ferrell Lashes Out at Kristen ‘Trampire’ Stewart

   Someone give Will Ferrell a box of tissues and pint of Ben & Jerry’s because the funnyman needs help healing his broken heart. Ferrell sat down with Conan O’Brien and let his emotions spill out as he discussed the recent breakup of Twilight stars Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson (or “Patterson,” as Ferrell referred to him).

3. A Real Dad Won’t Save You if You’re ‘Taken’

   The 2008 thriller Taken, about an American girl kidnapped by human traffickers in Paris, raised anxiety levels for many worrywort parents. The film isn’t based on a true story, but that didn’t stop moms and dads from wondering what they would do in a similar situation.

4. 90-Year-Old Pole Vaulter Will Make You Feel Lazy

   Meet Dr. William Bell, a 90-year-old fitness nut who holds a pole vault world record for his age group. Pfft, as if a bunch of buff 20-something Olympic swimmers prancing their six-packs around the pool didn’t already make us all feel like a bunch of unaccomplished cubicle potatoes this week.

   Envy aside, Dr. Bell could provide a helpful dose of pick-me-up to any of us feeling a bit lapsed in the physical fitness department

5. Choo-Choo-Choose to Watch Excited Train Guy

   Maybe it’s the rumble of the engine or the sound of the horn, but something has this train enthusiast yelling with excitement. The railfan — yes, that’s a real thing — squeals behind the camera as a rare 1953 EA Heritage Train engine rolls through a New York station.

   As one YouTuber put it, “Double Trainbow!”

Read more: http://mashable.com/2012/07/12/magic-mike-audition-tape/